City of Ariel - Voicemail

[cephalopodcounselor]

{Voice | Text | Video}

You have reached Rose Lalonde.
Please leave a message and I will
return your call promptly.

Comments

[cawfullyironic]

rose
rose
omg
wake up
come on
youre missin it
its practically a gift wrapped unbirthday present

[cephalopodcounselor]

What could possibly be so great that you felt the need to wake me with this text?
Please, inform me what I am missing out on aside from sleep.

[cawfullyironic]

shut up you love it when my searing orange text is beamed right into your brain
also theres a wizard
a completely unironic douchbag wizard

[cephalopodcounselor]

You've caught me red-handed.
I absolutely adore ever last character of that bright orange searing into my brain.
That is actually worth waking up for.
I will have to investigate this immediately.

[cawfullyironic]

i know right
i got your back
check out the network you cant miss his pansy ass

[cephalopodcounselor]

Yes, I've found him.
This should be fun.
I have commenced trolling his "pureblood" ass.
And I see you have also begun harassing him.

[cawfullyironic]

hes such a pansy omg

[cephalopodcounselor]

He's making all of this entirely too easy.

[cawfullyironic]

i know right
i wonder if i can squeeze pretentious little tears out of his pompous ass

[cephalopodcounselor]

Would this be before, after or during the course of making him "squeal like a piggie"?
Or are you leaving that job up to someone else?

[cawfullyironic]

hahahaha no
im not the one with the wizard fetish here
no wait youre into vampires now i hear

[cephalopodcounselor]

Perhaps the next square on my bingo card will be werewolves.

[cawfullyironic]

shit just let me know when youre ready
i know of a couple

[cephalopodcounselor]

I should not be surprised given the fact that they've brought wizards, demigods and gods to this city that they would have also brought werewolves.
What other wonders have they brought?

[cawfullyironic]

giant
fucking
robots

[cephalopodcounselor]

Does it not go without saying that being in this city, they would be fucking robots?
Regardless, that is an interesting choice.
However, not one I am particularly interested in.

[cawfullyironic]

shit dude
everyone loves robots
but one of the trolls is a fairy
like a straight up fairy with wings and shit
only hes a dude
wait do you even like dudes
or am i the only one in this family who ended up getting dick
haha never mind ive been with a girl troll

[cephalopodcounselor]

Is this you telling me that you've fucked a giant fucking robot?
Yes, I've heard about him, but have not met him.
I studied quite a lot about the trolls while I was on the meteor.
Gender doesn't really concern me much.
Take that as you will.

[cawfullyironic]

ah studied
of course you studied
three years of hands on research opportunities am i right
and yeah i know what you mean
kinda stopped being a thing that mattered at some point

[cephalopodcounselor]

There were scads of history books and other literature on the meteor.
Which kept me busy for quite some time.
Though yes, there was some hands on research as well.
And what point was that for you?

[cawfullyironic]

my sister the bookophiliac
and i dunno
since tumnus i guess

[cephalopodcounselor]

I'm certain if I hadn't run out of books, I might have stayed buried in them for all three years on the meteor.
How long ago was that?
I'm assuming that with him having lived with you it was a somewhat significant relationship.

[cawfullyironic]

a while
and sorta
we werent a THING or anything like that
fauns dont do shit like that and its not like its possible here
i mean he wasnt even remotely my type but it didnt seem to matter at all after a while
for a long time he was the only one who actually gave a shit

[cephalopodcounselor]

I know I have not been here for long, but I believe that open relationships could work here.
If the couple wants to make it work.
However, I'm glad that you and he were able to be there for each other as unconventional a relationship as it sounds to have been.
Tumnus may have left, but he didn't leave you alone with no one to give a shit about you.
I'm here.

[cawfullyironic]

yeah but hows that different then just having fuckbuddies
what makes it special if youre running around with other people too
you like lose that feeling of devotion
and yeah you are
which is awesome but also sucks a monumental riot of mammoth flesh knobs